The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid great site the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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